What to blog about with nothing to say?

I've been having one of those weeks.

It hasn't been a bad week or a necessarily good week. There have been some good moments and some 'meh' moments, but nothing out of the ordinary.

And maybe that's why I can't think of a damn thing to say. So this post is really going to have no focus. I'm just going to talk about some things.

There was a giant spider in my home today, and it has escaped me. I'm pretty sure it's planning its attack with the enemy as I type this.

I keep buying things online even though I should be saving my money. It's so easy to just click and purchase though. Someone should really take the internet away from me.

I got a new phone (again, spending money) and it kicks my old phone's ass, except that the power button on my new phone is where the volume button on my old phone was located. So now I keep going to alter the volume whilst playing games on my phone, and I keep shutting the phone off mid-game. Life is hard sometimes.

The boy and I made buffalo chicken calzones on Tuesday. And by "we made," I mean that he once again did 90% of the work and I whined about the dough being sticky (that's what she said?) and about how we kept having to restretch the dough. I'm awesome.

I saw Oblivion as well. I have to wonder what kind of deal Tom Cruise struck with the devil (or the god of Scientology, whatever/whoever that is) in order to look that good at 50 years old.

I don't swoon super hard for Tom Cruise (he usually irritates me), but I have to admit that the man is aging well. I think that's just a man thing, though. I'll start going downhill at 30 and dudes will continue to look good through their mid-50s. Not cool or fair.

I've also been playing Robot Unicorn Attack and I absolutely cannot get the song from that game out of my head. Pretty sure it's permanently on loop in the old noggin.

My parents are out of town this week, so it has been creepily quiet around here. Which is nice in some ways, eerie in others.

I hope everyone else is having a super interesting week.

Requirements for most job listings I find online

For even the most menial jobs, employers seem to be requiring a lot of things. Such as..

- at least 2 years related experience
- a BA in a very specific field, with a background in another very specific field
- open availability, 7 days a week, all shifts, like literally 24/7 you must be available no exceptions
- seeking EXPERIENCED coin flippers for lucrative coin flip opportunity. Need at least 5 business references unrelated to you who you've known a minimum of 5 years.
- proven record of "making it rain," preferably in a high volume industry
- at least 5 years of holding your breath without blinking, underwater preferred but will consider land-based breath holders

No, but seriously... are there really that many skilled, experienced people out there without jobs that make employers demands reasonable? I literally have a degree and over 6 years of work experience and I couldn't even get hired on to do laundry at the Holiday Inn (which I really don't want to do, but the fact that they were seeking an "EXPERIENCED" laundry attendant really baffles me).

Anybody else got a similar problem? With these job requirements, I'm pretty sure I'll be in food service the rest of my life (oh, and only select food service jobs -- there are places that want you to be an experienced dishwasher/busser... sigh).

10 Supposedly "Hot" Celebrities That I Don't Find Attractive

For the most part, I can at least see what other people see in the "it" celebrities of the moment. I can appreciate some of their features and, even if they aren't necessarily my type, I can at least see what the hubbub is all about.

That's not always the case.

Here I do present, the 10 Supposedly "Hot" Celebrities That I Don't Find Attractive... At All.

10. Robert Pattinson

He's skinny, has creepy eyes, and is way too pale (Twilight makeup aside, dude is pale). I don't think he's altogether ugly, but I just don't see what makes him hot. I also don't think he's a very good actor (Twilight aside, still), but that's another matter altogether.

I do like his accent, I guess?






9. Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is just gross.

And we have to face the facts that she wouldn't be a household name if it wasn't for the combination of 1) her family being super rich and 2) the infamous sex tape.

She has squinty eyes, a long nose, she's too thin, and she's always trying to do the "sexy look." Like she's doing in this picture. She's trying to do that smouldering eyes, poofy lips thing. Sorry, that only works if it's natural. And in this case, it isn't.



8. Zac Efron

It might be because I like men who aren't afraid to get a little dirty and Efron strikes me as the type of guy who'd cry over breaking a nail, but I don't see the obsession here either.

He's almost too "pretty." A man should not be pretty.







7. Selena Gomez

I think Selena Gomez is cute. But I don't think she can be "hot" or "sexy." In fact, that new Spring Breakers movie looks a little disturbing to me because, to me, she looks like she's twelve.

She still has that very young look about her. I can't believe she's 20 years old. In a few months, this girl will be able to legally buy alcohol.

Sorry, honey, but you look like you're in middle school. Put your boobs away.



6. Ryan Reynolds


Ryan Reynolds is traditionally handsome, but I really just think he looks like a douche. He's probably not a douche. He could be the nicest guy in the world. He could save 10 people and a cat from a burning building, but I still wouldn't find him attractive because he looks so douchey.

He just always looks like he has a smug look on his face and I don't like it. Also, his body is like too nice. You have to have flaws. Flaws are hot. I might be weird.

5. Kate Upton

I was confused about who Kate Upton was for a long time. At first I thought she was the chick from the royal wedding (I later found out I was very, very wrong) and I didn't understand the obsession.

But no, she's a Sports Illustrated model. Ah.

I think she has pretty eyes and nice boobs and all, but I also think she looks like every blonde cheerleader you met in high school. Her hair is too blonde, she wears too much make up, and she tries way too hard.

4. Adam Levine

This guy takes "douche" beyond the Ryan Reynolds spectrum.

I don't know why people fawn over this so much.

One word: eww.

3. Blake Lively

Blake Lively is married to Ryan Reynolds. I didn't know that until I found out through making this post. I swear, I'm not trying to hate on this family. May this love grow, but man, I just don't see what people see in them.


Blake Lively is only 27, but she looks about 35. I think she's going to have the Cameron Diaz problem of wrinkling early and looking middle aged when she's still fairly young. Only I don't think she is as pretty as Cameron Diaz. Or as talented. Whoops.


2. Channing Tatum

I mentioned above that I'm not really into the Zac Efron/metrosexual kind of dude.

That being said, I'm also not into super buff dudes. I don't know what I like. Leave me alone.

Regardless, I just don't think Channing Tatum has an attractive face. A friend of mine said he looked like an "autistic John Cena," which is mean but made me laugh.

Let's just say, I'd rather get with Tatum's 21 Jump Street costar (yes, I'm talking about Jonah Hill) than People's Sexiest Man. Sorry not sorry.



1. Jennifer Aniston

I think Jennifer Aniston is great. I love Friends and I've liked a lot of her movies, but I just don't think she's that pretty.

She has gorgeous hair, yes, but other than that I'm not impressed. I just think it's interesting that she was supposed to be the "hot" one on Friends, but I think Courtney Cox is ten times more attractive. But that's just me. No offense to her. It's just that, if I were Ross, I wouldn't have hit that.



So that's my list of traditionally "hot" celebrities that I just don't find attractive. Do you agree or disagree with me? Who would you put on your list?

How I Spent My 3 Days Off

So due to some personnel changes at my job that resulted in some schedule changes, I was blessed with a three day "weekend" (I use "weekend" in quotes because my weekends usually begin after the actual weekend). Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were my oyster this week, and I'm actually really satisfied with how I spent them. So this is a recap for you, my lovely readers. You're so welcome.

Monday

Monday was my "productive" day. I woke up at a decent time (and, yes, by "decent time" I mean before 2pm). My mother and I went over to my storage unit and cleared out a lot of stuff I didn't want. Remember when I said I needed to downsize? Yeah, that's what we did.

We ended up eliminating three boxes of crap completely. Most of the stuff I ditched was memorabilia from my childhood, as well as a bunch of empty CD cases and things that I just didn't need anymore.

The last thing I need is to become a hoarder, so some of this stuff had to go. We filled up three full trash bags and consolidated a lot of stuff into smaller confines. It was kind of a pain in the ass because the wind was blowing like crazy and my hair was going everywhere.

Among the things I threw away was one of my two high school diplomas:

That's right. I have two high school diplomas. It was a Dwight Schrute kind of thing. I was just so smart that they gave me two plaques for graduating (you know, like when he won employee of the month twice in one month).

(Actually it's because they misspelled my middle name in the one on the left, and we had it corrected. But I like my first explanation better).

After we got done at the storage unit, I ran a few more errands with my mother. That evening I got dinner with my friend, David, at a buffet. There's nothing like a buffet to make you feel like a fat, fat Amurrican.

Tuesday

I spent most of my waking hours on Tuesday with Stephen. I've mentioned before that we tend to cook together on occasion, and Tuesday was one of those occasions. The recipe? Chocolate Stuffed Red Velvet Cupcakes (recipe here).

And yeah, they were as good as they sound.

We made everything pretty much from scratch, including making the chocolate stuffing (which required melting together a cup of chocolate chips, some heavy whipping cream, and unsalted butter -- then freezing the concoction until it reached fudge-like consistency).

If your mouth isn't watering yet, it will be.

Now, I'm not gonna lie... Stephen did way more work than I did. I pretty much stood there, measured out butter and chocolate chips, and proceeded to snack on the chocolate chips while he read the recipe and made beautiful magical cookie dough.

This is the part where the cupcakes baked.

Yum.

Now, the recipe didn't call for icing... but every cupcake is better with icing.

They were actually the best things ever, and I'm going to mourn their loss when I eat the last one.

After we stuffed our faces with the fresh cupcakes, we watched The Road to El Dorado all so that Stephen could understand this gif.

And then we played Slender: The 8 Pages and I proceeded to die without retrieving any of the pages. Go me.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up sometime after 3 and proceeded to sit around almost all day. I did, however, work out for the second time this week. It's rare for me to work out twice in a week seeing as it's rare for me to work out even once in a month. But I'm trying to be a wee bit healthier, so we'll see how that goes.

Wednesday evening, I ventured out to a showing of Jurassic Park in 3D. I'd never seen the movie before, which I'm told is a travesty in and of itself. I enjoyed it thoroughly and was a little surprised at how intense it was for what I always figured was considered a family film.

Also, Jeff Goldblum is one of my favorites so that made it doubly good.

All in all, I'd consider it a successful three days. But now it's back to the old grind... five days of slinging pizza dough (we don't actually sling it, but "sling" is a good verb).


 

Why don't people know how to use coupons?

She's happy cuz she's saving money.

As someone who works for a chain restaurant, it amazes me on a regular basis how difficult people can be regarding coupons. If I had a dime for every time someone misinterpreted, misread, or generally tried to get one over on us by lying about their coupons -- I'd be very rich in dimes.

Coupons are intended to give customers a better deal on certain products so they don't have to pay regular price. They are a promotion. They are an incentive. And they come with certain parameters around which you must order/purchase if you want to redeem said products for the discounted price.

People don't seem to get that.

In case coupons are a confusing concept to you, here are a few guidelines which pretty much go for any coupon you stumble upon:

1. If the coupon is expired, don't use it.

This should really be common sense. If a coupon has expired, there's a pretty good chance that you will not be able to use it. If it's only expired by a few days or something then I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask, but for the most part -- don't do it. You look like an ass.

Bonus "ass" points for anyone who tries to use a coupon that's been expired for over a year. Yep, I've seen it happen.

We even had to hang up a sign that explained that we were "no longer accepting expired coupons" (not that we ever WERE accepting them, really). A lot of people came in and chuckled at the fact that we had that sign, to which I always replied, "You'd be surprised."

2. Do not try to use a competitor's coupon. i.e., don't go to McDonald's with a Burger King coupon.

Everybody sells Tampax

There are a few stores that do match competitor's prices/coupons, but normally these are grocery stores/convenience stores (like Wal-Mart) who sell the same brands and products. It's my assumption (correct me if I'm wrong) that you can't go into Wal-Mart with a coupon for Kroger brand tampons and walk out with Equate (Wal-Mart's brand) tampons at the discounted price. I'm assuming this is only for certain branded items -- like Tampax. Everybody sells Tampax.

Sorry for the tampon example. It was the first thing that came to mind.

That being said, restaurants like McDonalds and Burger King (Subway and Quiznos, Pizza Hut and Dominos, etc) sell similar products but with certain differences. Don't take a "free Whopper" coupon to McDonalds and expect a free Big Mac. Chances are you'll get a raised eyebrow.

3. Read the smaller print. It might be small, but it's there for a reason.

People try to make me feel bad all the time for getting them to read some of the smaller print. "Let me go get my glasses," they sigh. Or "Let me go step into the light..." Sorry, dudes, but you're claiming the coupon DOESN'T say something that I know for a fact it does say.

I know that the small print is small. But if it wasn't smaller, it would throw off the design of the coupon. Coupons themselves tend to be very small (there are exceptions -- like those Bed, Bath, and Beyond mailers I used to always get), so cramming all the necessary information onto it requires that some of that information be smaller than other parts.

The most important part of the coupon "Free!" or "Half off" or whatever is bigger so that it can catch your attention. The small print isn't small so that we can "get you" or "screw you over" or anything like that. If we wanted to screw you over, it wouldn't be on there at all.

Here's an example of a Subway coupon I found on the internet:

That's nice, right? Very clean design, attractive.

Here's what happens if the "small print" was the same size as the rest of it. You know, since Subway is clearly trying to get people to think any sub they want will be free.

Whoa there! Can I rest my case?

4. Present the coupon when you redeem your purchase.

At a restaurant, there are probably about as many customers who forget or just simply don't bring in their coupons as who do. Does this happen everywhere? I always used to say that you can't go to the grocery store and say, "I have a coupon for a free salad dressing. I left the coupon at home, but I swear I have it so you need to give me this salad dressing for free." For all I know, this might happen.

But it happens a lot to me. A customer will tell me on the phone that they have a coupon and I'll discount their order, but then they neglect to bring in the coupon when they pick up their order. "I didn't know I had to bring it since I told you on the phone," a lot of people say. Yes, you told me so that I could accurately tell you your total, but you still need to give me the coupon.

Some people legitimately forget and sometimes are overly apologetic about it. I get that -- it happens. But the point of a coupon is to present that coupon in order to receive the discount. Online ordering and coupons I think have spoiled us and made us go paperless more than in the past, but you can bet that some of that small print on 95% of coupons tells you that the coupon has to be present at time of purchase.

It just astounds me how difficult some people make things. I think it's funny that a lot of coupons even have to state that the discount is "not applicable for previous purchases." What? Do people really receive coupons and think, "Hmm. I just bought something from there last week. Let me go bring in this coupon and see if I can get $2 back..." Really? I guess some people are desperate.

How to act like you're not super pissed when you're actually super pissed

We all get mad from time to time. Anger is one of those innate human emotions that everyone feels on occasion. Some of us -- you know, short-tempered females -- more than others.

I find that I get angry more often than I should and about things which really shouldn't bother me to the degree that they do. I used to blow up about any and every little thing, but lately I've been working on mastering the art of just ignoring it. Now I'm not saying you should ignore everything that angers you because there are plenty of things that should anger you. But sometimes it's just easier to let things go and avoid having something really insignificant blow up in your face and turn into a big thing.

So here are some tips on how to appear calm when you're actually super pissed.

Successfully avoid THIS.

1. Say you have a headache

If somebody asks you what's wrong because you have an angry look on your face or you're crossing your arms defensively or some other "angry" pose... just tell them you have a headache and/or aren't feeling well.

You might say, "But Cherie, that's a lie!"

To a degree, you're right. Your head is not physically causing you pain... but whatever is pissing you off is running through your mind's core and probably causing a bit of emotional distress. So you technically have an emotion headache. So it's not a bold-faced lie... maybe a light-faced lie at best.

2. Say you're stressed out

Which, again, is true... they just don't know why you're stressed out.

When people are stressed, they are more likely to emit negative energy (I don't have sources to back that up, but I'm pretty sure that's documented somewhere). Therefore, saying you're stressed and using it as an excuse to avoid an argument is completely legitimate. People will excuse you for your mood and will continue to think there's nothing you want to strangle them for.

And if the person you're pissed at asks you why you're stressed, just think of the most annoying thing (besides your current anger) in your life. Work? School? Nagging grandparents? Blame that thing. This is a totally healthy solution.

3. Turn the conversation toward something that person enjoys

Just steer the conversation away from anything that might cause the volcano behind your eyes to erupt in old-school-cartoon style. This is beneficial as it deters the person you're pissed at from thinking you might be pissed at them (because as we've established, you're blowing things way out of proportion here). It simultaneously gets you thinking about an unrelated subject, which might cause you to forget why you were mad to begin with (though, let's face it, probably not).

Here's a realistic example:

My friend Joe who loves panda bears: Hey Cherie... is something wrong? You've got that "poo face" again.

Me, who is pissed at Joe for some stupid thing: I'm fine, Joe. I was just thinking about this new special they're going to be airing on Animal Planet about pandas... have you heard of it? I'm sure it'd be right up your ally.

Joe: Dude, you know how much I dig pandas.

Subject forgotten.

Me and Joe, happy together because I didn't bitch him out

4. Get your mind off what's irritating you by therapeutically killing something that isn't the person you're mad at

A great way to take out aggression without taking that aggression out on a person is to kill something. I'm not talking about getting in your car and going stupid-squirrel-in-the-middle-of-the-road hunting (although if that's your thing, go for it).

I'm talking about playing a video game, going to play laser tag or paintball, hell even Angry Birds or that fruit-cutting-phone-game (what's it called? Fruit Ninja or some shit?). Take out your aggression on something that isn't going to feel any kind of physical and emotional pain, but that makes you feel like you've conquered something.

TAKE THAT STUPID EVIL PIGS! TAKE THAT!

So those are my tips for avoiding senseless arguments. It can be argued -- though not proven -- that some of these methods are unhealthy and may result in your problems "bottling" up and eventually bursting, causing the situation to skyrocket into something even worse than if you'd resolved it before.

But, like I said, there's no proof of that. This isn't science.

My First April Fool's Day

I was the only kid in the house growing up, so I wasn't aware of a lot of things until I learned about them in school.

April Fool's Day was one of those things.

I remember going to school on April 1st, 1995 as a Kindergartner. I was walking past the breakfast line and all I kept hearing was, "Your shoe's untied! Your shoe's untied!" from like multiple children. I kept looking down and dammit if my shoes were not untied!! They may have even been velcro, for all I remember, but they were definitely NOT untied.

Finally, after expressing vehemently that my shoes were fine, I was informed that it was April Fool's Day and that you lied to people on April Fool's Day to trick them into believing something that isn't true. I went home super pissed at my parents for never preparing me for such.

I'll never understand why "your shoe's untied" was the only thing kids could think of in Kindergarten.

Happy April.